Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
