either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
