She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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