You really coming over, don't trick.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
