I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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