I need help removing her.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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