I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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