We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
