I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize