before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
