The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
false alarm, still single
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
