so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
