the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
