dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
