Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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