Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
