I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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