I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
porn star boner night. come get it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
