you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
