Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
