is your mom at the bar?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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