i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
