So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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