Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
