i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
