By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
