Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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