theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
