So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
