This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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