Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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