so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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