Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
