she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
