i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
