got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
