He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
