guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dignity is for republicans.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
