I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
