I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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