1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
