You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
