Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
