You're my little dorito
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
