he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
