when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
