so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
