I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
