you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
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