i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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