he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
