i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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