i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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