Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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