wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize